I Must Have Blinked

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Tall and graceful greeting her guests at the door

Easy, natural smile

Deep dimples and a warm embrace

And a sincere “Thank you for coming”

Fuchsia summer dress, demure, elegant, timeless and uniquely her

I blinked and there she is, newborn fragile in her proud brother’s arms

I blinked and there again, suffering to breathe in the hospital

I blinked and she’s twirling in circles, princess dress and tights puddling around her ankles

I blinked and she’s on a porch in the bright beach sun and a cherry red Popsicle is dripping and melting and staining her father’s crisp white T-shirt that’s as long as a ball gown swimming on her tiny frame and her cheeks and lips and hands are stained and it’s a wonder any Popsicle found its way into her mouth

I blinked and she’s flying down the field red pony tail bobbing and shorts too big for spindly legs

I blinked and she’s memorizing a Shel Silverstein poem and I catch myself surprised that she not only memorized the words but she’s delivering them and it’s funny

I blinked and commanding presence on the court and there is no I in team

At strange times insecure, she underestimates her gifts and diverse talents

Standing back watching her tall and graceful greeting her guests at the door, I blinked because my eyes were wet

Red Bird Sighting

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Standing at the kitchen sink

Dish drudgery…fill the dishwasher, empty the dishwasher…staring out the window

Backyard remnants of winter, spent shrubs, broken branches, brown and grey

No leaves except the dead ones piled against the back fence, brown and grey

Brown and grey

Flash of color zips across the yard, lands on a branch, darts and bounces, pecking, looking, hopping, sailing

Flash of Spring

Who’s the Aufore?

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Flashback to when my youngest child was in preschool.   The teacher had a routine when she would read a book to the class.  The children would gather around the teacher in the “reading corner”… a book shelf filled with books, soft carpet squares, pillows, bean bags and a few real chairs (but they were real small chairs).  The teacher would hold the book up in the air and show the cover to the children.  They she would point to and read the Title of the book.  And then she would point to and read the name of the Author of the book.  And they she would point to and read the name of the Illustrator of the book.

My daughter insisted on the same routine at home.  It took me a while to catch on to the process.  My daughter would select a book and we would snuggle up together on her bed to read a book before bedtime.  I would open the book to the first page and she would grab the book and flip bag to the cover and ask “Who’s the Aufore?”

Last week I was attending a company meeting. We had an outside guest speaker from a social media consultancy.  Naturally he and a colleague had written a book which was given to all of us attending the meeting.   I was listening mostly intently to his presentation when I casually picked up my copy of the book.  I flipped it over to the front cover and looked at his name at the bottom and thought “Who’s the Aufore?”

Savings for Dishes

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I’m sitting at the dining room table with my laptop, a cup of coffee and a creamy white serving bowl next to my laptop.  As is my routine these days, I got up early to work out on the elliptical machine and then went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and unload the dishwasher before getting my family up.

As I was putting the dinner plates in the cabinet, I noticed the stacked serving bowls on the next shelf.  On the bottom of the stack was a bowl I have had since I was in high school.  It is creamy white Nikko brand from the “Classic Collection”.  The bowl is shaped like a stop sign — is that octagonal?  And has a ridge pattern just below the rim.  In another cabinet, there is a matching serving platter in the same pattern.  Somewhere along the line, there was a third oblong shaped serving dish.

Why did this particular serving dish catch my eye this morning?  Well, first off is its longevity.  The dinner plates are only a few years old and we’ve already chipped most of the set and completely broken all but three of the cereal bowls.   This Nikko serving dish is definitely quality to last so long.  And it has been a long time indeed.  These plates survived high school and college and graduate school and marriage and kids  now approaching college age.  And standing there at the cabinet, I thought of all the time that has passed and all the apartments and houses this plate has been in and all the meals for friends and family it has served.

And then I remembered how I got the dish in the first place.  I had opened my first savings account for my babysitting and math tutoring money.  The bank was offering a promotional incentive to encourage people to make deposits.  A set of serving dishes could be earned.  And earn them I did.  I felt so grown up and planful.  I wasn’t even out of high school and I was saving for my future and envisioning my first apartment.  I probably paid 4X what the dishes were worth and it took me years to earn them.  But I did earn them.  And I still have them.  And I still use them.

 

Network Isn’t Work

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Years ago, several enterprising executive women at the company I work for, decided to start a women’s networking group.  I was asked to be a founding member, though we called ourselves “charter members” because “founding” sounded too old and stodgy and colonial.  I was at first, skeptical.  Yes, I think of myself as a career oriented working mother but I’m no Gloria Steinem.

Well, we got this group off the ground.  We had about 20 charter members from across the company and across the country.  We’d meet face to face a few times a year and had conference calls every month.  We established a charter and guiding pillars.  We had a platform and we made a difference.  And eventually we turned the reigns over to other women leaders in each of our local chapters.

And I learned some amazing lessons from these amazing women, those who started the group and those who have taken it over and grown it.  You don’t need a lot of structure to get things done…you just need a common purpose.  The busiest people are often the ones who can take on more.  The higher you go in an organization, the more you need a cadre of trusted advisors who will give you the straight scoop.  And, the most important of which is that a network isn’t work, it’s a net.

Life Lessons — Figuring It Out

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Lately, I find myself saying “So what did you think of that?” “What would you different next time?”  “Why do you think (s)he did/said that?”  And I must admit, it is very hard to keep my mouth shut and let my kids figure things out for themselves..

Both of my older children are experiencing the ups and downs of group projects in school and what it really means to be on a team.  Up until this point, group projects were mostly arts and crafts and a chance to gossip and giggle for an afternoon.  Up until this point, sheer athleticism outweighed any need to truly work together as a team on the field.

But now the stakes are higher.  Group projects in school are more “divide and conquer” both out of scheduling necessity and teacher design.  Team sports are now at the competitive level where one or two strong players can no longer carry the team.  They are learning that everyone has a job to do.  And when one person doesn’t hold their own, the whole team suffers.

And they are appreciating who is working up to their full potential and who is slacking off.  They have great compassion for someone putting forth their best effort.  Despite potentially less talent, the person trying their best is someone they want to work with.  They are recognizing that sometimes your best friend can be a little lazy.  And that it is okay not to want to work with them on joint projects.  And the real friend accepts that.

And I’m just letting them figure it out on their own.

Cheated by Summer — But Not by Fall

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Getting ready for work this morning, I was gazing out our bedroom window.  (Yes, I literally caught myself gazing.)  Our bedroom is on the second story and there are three trees planted right outside so that the leaves are at window level.  And while I was fiddling with my jewelry and gazing into the leafy canopy, I noticed that some of the leaves were turning bright red around the edges.

As hot and dry and miserable as it has been for us and much of the country this summer, you would think that I would embrace the first signs of the welcoming cool and crisp mornings that make autumn my favorite season.

But I felt a bit of remorse and a little bit cheated.  Our summer had been so busy with sports camps and weekend tournaments and storm damage clean up and weeding in a vegetable garden that was not cooperating, that I felt we hadn’t had a real summer break.  We hadn’t just hung out on the back deck, swatting at mosquitos until we couldn’t take it anymore.  We hadn’t grilled out and roasted marshmallows.  We hadn’t caught fireflies.  We hadn’t eaten ice cream from the Good Humor truck.  We hadn’t ridden our bikes all through the neighborhood until it was almost too dark to see.  We hadn’t played flashlight tag.  We hadn’t eaten watermelon with the juice dripping and staining our T-shirts.

And I won’t make that mistake again.

And with autumn on the cusp, here are our plans:  picking apples, going to the Renaissance Festival, making hot cider, buying a new sweater, going to Friday night football, tailgating, corn mazes, using the heat lamp on the deck and wrapping in a blanket so that we can stay up late talking, bon fires, picking pumpkins, roasting pumpkin seeds, making granola, loving orange.