So, before I begin this post — about my youngest daughter — it is important to note that I took the required science courses in High School and College but was Liberal Arts all the way, that is until B-School.

I recall the nature vs. nurture debates but never really gave it too much thought.  That is, until our youngest child started to grow into her unique personality.   The phrase “marches to a different drummer” must have been coined for this child.

From a very young age she has demonstrated her eclectic taste.  She likes Legos and puzzles and “army men” and science and magic and music and writes poetry.  Spelling and math facts are optional but she can build and assemble anything (she is less than 10 and has built benches and patio heat lamps and end tables).  And when she truly wants something, she is single-mindedly focused and annoyingly persistent in obtaining her heart’s desires.

When she was three years old, she was obsessed with guitars.  We got her the toy guitar for her birthday.  That worked for a while.  But the desire for a real guitar persisted.  At 7, we finally relented.  We got the guitar and signed her up for lessons.  She took three lessons and decided she had mastered the guitar and didn’t need to go back.  Yes, of course she was too young for guitar lessons.  But we still have the guitar and from time to time she jams…see above reference to her own drummer (or I guess her own guitarist).

Her current obsession is BMX.  She has wanted a BMX helmet for her bicycle for well, EVER.  She has worked all summer to earn money to purchase the helmet.  We looked at every website and every helmet available, looking for just the right combination of helmet design, size and price.  It took weeks and then we found it.  The Holy Grail of helmets.  Black with “sweet” red and white graffiti designs.  And with an extra benny…silver fins!  And, if we bought $10 more, shipping was free!  So, naturally I chipped in for the clear goggles that were $12 just so we could save on the shipping.

I’ve never actually tracked a package through the FedEx shipping option.    It hasn’t mattered too much whether a new pair of shoes or swimsuit or sweater or dishes arrived on Tuesday or Wednesday (unless of course it was a birthday present that I forgot to shop for/order until the day before).  It’s not hard.  It just never seemed necessary.  But believe me, over the last week, I have become a package tracking expert!  Every day has been a constant barrage of “Do you think helmet will arrive today?”  “I wonder if they will deliver the box today.”  “Maybe they shipped it early and it will arrive today.”  And I, with pin-point accuracy could tell her exactly where her package was.  I was POWERFUL!

Unfortunately, we were out-of-town when the package was to be delivered (sounds a bit like a Bourne Identity movie plot).  And we agonized about whether or not we should change the delivery date.  Or arrange to pick it up.  Oh, what should we do?  If it was delivered and left on the front porch, would someone steal it?  What was the risk that someone would steal it versus the excitement and enjoyment of having it waiting for her when we returned from our trip.

At the end of the day, we opted for near instant gratification.  Meaning we let them deliver the package so it would be waiting there for her when we got home from our trip.  We pulled into the driveway and as the car lights swung past the front porch, caught in the sweep of lights were not one but two packages.   Oh, the joy.  A big box with the helmet.  And a smaller package with the goggles.  We paused at the crest of the driveway and she jumped out of the car racing to the porch.  She came straight to the kitchen proudly carrying her well-earned bounty.

End of the story.  She loves this helmet.  And I must admit…it is pretty darn cool,  way better in real life.  But let me be clear…at present, she is not a BMXer.  We watch it sometimes on TV.  She does have a bike.  She’s been on a BMX track…once.  But 99.99% of the time, her bike riding is limited to our cul-de-sac.  Nevertheless, she loves this helmet.  She wore it all evening when it first arrived…unpacking, dishes, watching TV.  Not during dinner but every other minute until teeth brushing and bed time.  She has slept with it every nite.  She proudly made lunch the other morning wearing her helmet.   She takes it with her in the car.

Witnessing her enjoy this helmet has been nothing short of pure joy.

Which brings me back to my nature/nurture debate.  We have another daughter.  And when she was little it was all about princesses, and tutus, and Barbies, and pierced earrings.

And so, you might think like I did that it must be “nurture”…maybe with our first daughter I reinforced more of the female stereotypes.  But as I think about it and think about my girls, I’m actually landing on the “nature” side of the debate.

Why?  Because while their objects of desire are very different, in other more fundamental ways, they are very alike.  The single-minded dedication to a target goal is definitely the same for our two girls.  There was a time, when our older daughter kept her room in military precision-readiness every day all day for 6 weeks in order to earn pierced earrings.  And you can bet that on the exact day that ended the 6th week, we were on our way to the mall to get her ears pierced.  And if it had been possible to track the waiting line at the ear-piercing place, you can bet I would have been doing that up to the minute she sat in the chair and squeezed her eyes shut.