Lately, I find myself saying “So what did you think of that?” “What would you different next time?”  “Why do you think (s)he did/said that?”  And I must admit, it is very hard to keep my mouth shut and let my kids figure things out for themselves..

Both of my older children are experiencing the ups and downs of group projects in school and what it really means to be on a team.  Up until this point, group projects were mostly arts and crafts and a chance to gossip and giggle for an afternoon.  Up until this point, sheer athleticism outweighed any need to truly work together as a team on the field.

But now the stakes are higher.  Group projects in school are more “divide and conquer” both out of scheduling necessity and teacher design.  Team sports are now at the competitive level where one or two strong players can no longer carry the team.  They are learning that everyone has a job to do.  And when one person doesn’t hold their own, the whole team suffers.

And they are appreciating who is working up to their full potential and who is slacking off.  They have great compassion for someone putting forth their best effort.  Despite potentially less talent, the person trying their best is someone they want to work with.  They are recognizing that sometimes your best friend can be a little lazy.  And that it is okay not to want to work with them on joint projects.  And the real friend accepts that.

And I’m just letting them figure it out on their own.